Toddly

Hello? Anybody there?

2009-01-29T17:12:00.000-08:00

I am not sure if anyone still checks my blog; it has been quite a while since my last post. I suppose my Portland/west coast friends may have my blog on an RSS feed - while my Midwest friends are wondering what my blog has to do with Nascar.

So much has been happening in my life these past few years. God has truly blessed me through my family and Sarah and Tommy to be able to go back to school. More specifically, to be able to spend four years of deep and intense study of our beautiful Lord and what it means to follow him. I hope that I can share some of this blessing with you all. To this end, I think I will start blogging again.

But before I start blogging again, I must fulfill a year and a half old promise. My previous post promised a funny Todd story. So here is a Descriptive Essay from my writing class last semester. It is dedicated to the 2009 Mali EDGE team who leaves for Mali in 3 weeks! Yay! Read carefully because this bike is being stored for your arrival! Enjoy the story, more to come.

My essay:

Click, clack, kerplunk. My motorbike sputtered dead as was customary when coming to a stop at a red light. As I hopped off of the bicycle-like seat, I looked to my left and right, taking note that I was smack-dab in the center of four motorcycles, two compact sedans, and a minivan. Handlebars and side-view mirrors held hands as we all crammed into three unmarked lanes. The light changed and engines roared leaving me in a cloud of unregulated carbon emissions. I sprinted through the intersection with a firm grip on the handlebars while revving the throttle. As I neared a full sprint, the bike hiccupped back to life, and I dove back onto the seat just before it drove off without me. Dozens of Malians packing the corners of the intersection had watched the whole event. Many erupted with laughter while others chanted “Tubabu! Tubabu!” – which loosely translated means, “Whitey! Whitey!” As I sped away from the scene in utter embarrassment, one thing was clear: my scooter was a dilapidated deathtrap.

I had purchased the motorbike from a missionary whose house-help had previously used it to commute to work through rural village streets. The crater-sized potholes that infested those rock and dirt alleyways had acted like sledgehammers on its body. Its feeble, rod-like frame appeared to be steel pipes, haphazardly welded together to resemble an oversized bicycle. It had not been operational for at least two years, in which time its job had been to store dust and grow rust. Only the occasional speck of flaking blue paint could be found amidst the pervasive rust. For fifty US dollars, it was mine. But there was one small problem; it didn’t run. After a week of arduous labor, costing only five dollars, one of the questionable mechanics who sit on the side of the road got my new kitten to purr. However on the ride home, and each subsequent outing, different parts of the bike began to tragically fail.

One of the first things to go on the bike was its ability to idle. If the speed dipped below five kilometers per hour the engine would choke and die, leaving me vulnerable at stoplights. At which point I had two options: 1) pedal thru the intersection until I got up enough speed to revive it, or 2) prop it up on its kickstand and pedal start it in place. The problem with the latter is that the kickstand was contorted so that it was holding the bike up by the carburetor, chronically causing it to bleed until the gas tank was dry as a civ. Each time the wound could be temporarily bandaged by the nearest mechanic with a little corrugated tin snipped from his roof. However, both options soon became functionally impossible. With a crack and a ping, the left pedal snapped into a position that was offset from the right pedal at ninety degrees. Thus when one pedal was swung around the other was not in proper stepping position, making pedaling unfeasible.

The muffler system had long since broken off. The hole where it had once been attached now spewed a palpable charcoal cloud. Many times the bike tried to suffocate us both in the garage, attempting to end its pathetic existence. To counteract its smoking problem, it required a special cocktail of gasoline and oil concocted by a random man along the roadside. He would shake up an ounce of oil with a liter of gasoline in dirty glass bottles and label it Mélange. The motorbike was an addict. With each bottle its shaking would intensify, as if begging for one more drop while its insides became coated with tar.

People always seemed to know when I had arrived somewhere. I was never quite sure what tipped them off first: a combination of the deafening ping of the lawnmower-sized engine and the scraping rattle of the chain, or the pungent smell of Mélange leaking from every orifice and evaporating off the red-hot engine.

Needless to say, the motorbike never finished me off. While it did get the best of me in numerous ways – ground up or stained many of my clothes, ran me into the back of a sedan, and got me sideswiped by a small bus – I was able to escape the country and leave the decrepit death-machine to another unsuspecting victim.

2007-08-15T07:45:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been a long time again since I have blogged. I think most of you have heard one way or another what has been going on in my life. Let’s just jump right in to it.

The end of May I headed out to Mali, West Africa with a group of students (about 12 in all) from Grace University (the school I am attending in Omaha, NE). Over the course of 6 months we will take 5 classes all centered on learning how to function cross-culturally while applying it. Mali and the US could not be much more opposite cultures. The way we communicate, view life and relationships, and a mountain of other things that we don’t even think about, make understanding each other very difficult.

We are almost halfway through the trip now. We are back in Bamako, the capitol city, after spending nearly 2 months in a small town called Bougouni (boo gun knee). That experience was extremely difficult for me. Perhaps sometime I will outline some highlights for your enjoyment.

Most of the time we spent in the Boug I was ill. The worst was most definitely the malaria. When I was in India a couple of people on the team got malaria. I’d never heard much about it. It’s like a flu times ten, I heard. You get bit by a mosquito, and a bad flu, get better, that’s it. I wish.

There are 4 types of malaria. The type that is found in sub-Saharan Africa (where I am) is called Plasmodium falciparum. Falciparum accounts for half of the cases worldwide and 95% of the deaths.

It started with a few days of a pounding headache till night one I had a fever of just over 100. At this point I was unable to keep down food and my eating ceased. Even water made me a little queasy. Each day I got more nauseous and my fever rose. By day two I could no longer drink water. Since I was the first of three on the team to get malaria, it went undiagnosed and progressed much further than I enjoyed.

By day four my fever was over 104. My stomach was in a knot so tight Houdini wouldn’t have been able to escape. I laid perfectly still knowing that the slightest movement would bring on another bout of endless convulsing over a bowl in an attempt to throw up water that I hadn’t drank for days. Completely dehydrated, my mouth was dry as a bone and cracking and I was unable to salivate. Just a drop of water to relieve my mouth would often send me back into convulsions.

I laid alone in my cement room in an empty house in the middle of Africa for what felt like any eternity that day. Unable to call for help and longing for the hospital. I don’t recall the details of what happened after that but that night the doctor came and hooked me up to an IV with antimalaria meds. After three days of IV treatments I was feeling much better. I began eating and drinking again. It was several days until I was able to eat normally again and the fatigue brought on by the massive annihilation of my red blood cells lasted a couple weeks. After about a week I was able to start doing normal tasks myself.

The rate at which my temperature was advancing and the length of time it had been since I’d drank anything without throwing up more than I put down, I have no doubt that I was hours away from a coma. The onslaught left me in a deep psychological depression for several weeks. Just walking into my room would upset me.

Yesterday I received from my mom the July 2007 issue of National Geographic that featured Malaria. It was a very informative article and I recommend you find it.

Malaria threatens half of the world’s population. Nearly half a billion of the world’s 6.5 billion will contract malaria this year alone. Over a million will die; most under the age of 5; 90% in Africa. In Africa 30,000 children die every day, one every 30 seconds.

Malaria has killed leaders and crippled armies likely since the beginning of human history. It killed a million Union soldiers in the US Civil War. National Geographic states that “some scientists believe that one out of every two people who have ever lived have died of malaria.”

So why do I have no idea about this epidemic sweeping the world? I’m glad you asked. In 1946 the US founded the Centers for Disease Control specifically to combat malaria. They drained millions of acres of wetlands where mosquitoes breed and sprayed hundreds of thousands of homes with insecticide. We could afford it. By 1950 malaria had ceased in the US. In 1955 the World Health Organization launched the largest international health initiative ever to eradicate malaria. Though much was accomplished, the campaign was too ambitious and financing ceased and the program abandoned by 1969. Malaria had been nearly eradicated in many areas like India but came roaring back. Most of sub-Saharan Africa never saw the campaign really get started.

It was at this point that the “world” forgot about malaria and it became another burden of the poor.

I am often reminded of a conversation I had with JD before I left Omaha. JD is someone I admire because he is several years down a road that I would like to follow. He has a heart like Jesus’ that aches for the poor, needy and dying all over the world; even Omaha. He said it is important for people like us, who are able to go to places like this and have experiences like this to relate it to the church in America.

I believe knowledge is the first step to solving problems. This problem got out of hand because we forgot about. It’s not that we don’t care; we just don’t know.

I hopefully I haven’t turned in to the fanatic that always talks about the dying kids in Africa while everyone rolls their eyes and walks away. The children were the last thing on my mind when I was lying in my bed dying. I guess God just keeps throwing me in situations where I’m forced to care. Hopefully I can convey that without the annoyance factor.

I will try to make the next blog a funny Todd story.

2006-10-04T19:34:00.000-07:00

This is for all you whiners out there. (you know who you are)

Update (with the dramatic voice of the guy from Unsolved mysteries)

This is what Todd has been up to:

First is school. Lots of that. Its going wonderfully. I almost have the whole bible figured out and memorized.

I've been playing at Coram Deo, my 'home church' I guess. I've also been playing at this college group at some mega church. Its fun to play there cause the sound system rocks my face. But its a college group at a mega church so im sure you can guess my sentiment.

Ive also been playing for the class im in called 'Worship Band'. Lets just say I get a credit for it so its worth it. We are leading at chapel for the first time this coming Monday.

So far the worship chapels have mostly been horrendous (this word is a terrible understatement). There is a serious lack of anyone with a gift of leading people in worship at the school.

I have also been in contact with Invisible Children and setting it up for them to come to the school and speak at a chapel and then show the movie at night. That will be in March when they make it here.

I have also been looking into going to India, Feb 5-15. Its quite possible as I have a conference the week of the 5th instead of classes.

I may also go to Mali, Africa next year for a term.

I'm also playing on a soccer team. That is fun. Tommy and I are on a running schedule. That not so fun. My body is starting to hurt. So far the longest run has been 7.5 miles. We have an 8 miler this Saturday.

that's what ive been up to. I'll update again in a few months when your whines fill my glass.

2006-08-30T12:20:00.000-07:00

Yay! I made chapel band.

Thats another credit hour. so now i'm at 19 hours.

The chapel band director guy asked me to play at his church this sunday. but i said no cause im going to go visit my brother joel in St Louis for the holiday.

2006-08-27T17:47:00.000-07:00

I jammed with the worship kid at Coram Deo today. We rocked it right if i do say so myself. Hopefully he thought the same. Hes pretty good. He has a good voice and has some good acoustic skills. Hes out of town the next couple week but after that i should be playin. it feels like its been forever already. He asked if i wanted to lead sometimes too. I swear, people just assume i can do stuff. I always get tossed out there. I told him i'd like to wait a little while till im familiar with the church.

I just wrote my first speech. So far thats been the biggest hurdle. If you know me you know im shy and dont like speaking in front of people. ugh.

2006-08-25T22:15:00.000-07:00

School started Wednesday. I'm already learning a ton and its pretty cool. My favorite classes so far are Theology of Church Mission, Old Testament, and hermeneutics. And this is just my first year classes.

The thing I'm looking forward to the most is for part of my major (Intercultural Studies) I have to spend 6 months overseas. There are 4 different places I could go. My top 2 at this point are Asia(Taiwan, Japan or the Philippines) and Kenya. Maybe I'll see you there Ash.

I've always loved Asia. I love those crazy japanese. And maybe i could see my kid in the Philippines and bring him home with me.

Being away from Portland and my routine there has really helped me remember my dissatisfaction with life in America. Its easy to get caught up in routine and before you know it times gone by and youve gone nowhere. I finally feel like I'm moving.

I tried out for Chapel Band on Thursday. He just asked me to play something, impress him. I was like... uhh... thats not really what i do. It was very awkward for me. I dont think i had much competition though.

The worship guy at the church I'm going to is pretty solid. I think he probably sounds a lot like me vocally and whatever, just a little better and more experienced. He said i can play with him, we're gonna jam after church sunday. I think we can get some cool stuff goin.

Thats basically it for now. Oh I've been getting in shape too with Tommy and Sarah. And cutting my Caloric intake down to 2000 or lower. I feel skinnier already.

2006-08-17T12:38:00.000-07:00

Nathan and i arrived safely in Nebraska Tuesday night after driving 11 hours monday and another 11 on Tuesday. We had a little Omahanian fun.

I just dropped him off at the airport. It was sad. Nathan tried to make a move. That was sad too. I already miss his jackass comments and our constant fighting.

Heres to old friends and good times.

2006-08-07T19:44:00.000-07:00

The rumors are true. Nathan is not the one moving out as mentioned in my previous post. it is i. I am moving to Omaha, Ne next monday. Im going to Grace University. Its a bible school.

Its hard but i am excited and very ready to go to bible school.

Leaving the band is hard. they arent real happy about it. but this is what i need to do. I'm a dime a dozen.

I'm trying to sell my amp before i leave and that is hard to do in a short amount of time. Im getting a smaller amp but the funds are proving difficult. im glued to craigslist and ebay and its driving me nuts.

2006-06-13T21:58:00.000-07:00

So nathan might move home. that would leave me at moving home also. if my parents let me.

im 23. i mean come on. im gonna end up being the guy across the street who is 45, making pipe bombs and selling drugs from the trailer he lives in behind his parents house.

im not so worried about the cultural stigma of such a situation. ive never been one to really care. but it does get annoying after awhile and way you down. same with anything people constantly make fun of you about.

my main concern is that i know i will be depressed living there. i will resort to my natural state of seclusion. i wont talk to people and i wont hang out with them. namely nathan. i think we keep eachother sane. perhaps the opposite. its hard to prove.

im done with village now. i dont know how much longer i will be working at ethnos for whatever reason. i want to go to school but i cant afford it. so where does that leave me? i dont think im ready to take a job leading worship. thats scary to me. but where can i get a flexible job that i can continue my ministries, both foreign and domestic, and make enough to live?

it seems like the things i want to do im just not going to be able to support myself doing. and that is depressing. i really love doing music missions. but im not making money on it. and i dont want to make money doing it. i just want to do it. i could more than fill my schedule with music and serving things. and i do. but when its ministry your motives are wrong if you ask for money. i just want to survive.

im just feeling a little failure and a little lostness. its hard to see any step but back.

2006-06-06T21:15:00.000-07:00

ive been having weird dreams lately that have been putting me in strange moods. they are always fairly depressing dreams. or at least once i wake up they are. normally i never really remember my dreams, but i have been for the last week or so.

some memories just never seem to go away.

2006-06-05T23:04:00.000-07:00

I've been invited to go to Poland with a couple NGA evangelist in November. About $2500. yikes. at least i have more than a month to raise it this time.

Here's all the info i have so far:
Todd,

Trust you are well? It has been very busy here as we prepare for ministry in Africa in three weeks.
I have an outreach later this year in Poland. The dates are approx. November 10 - 21. The cost is about $2,500. The ministry there will be very different than India. We are having about 19 different events that are what we call affinity events. Mostly, they are meal events with targeted audiences. For example, breakfast, lunch or dinner for groups such as: civic leaders, businessmen, taxi drivers, women, seniors, medical doctors, teachers, police etc... It makes it much easier for a christian doctor to invite a non-christian doctor to a free meal event that is just for them and the message is geared to them.

Are you interested? If so, I would love to speak with you further. Specifically I am asking if you want to do the music.

Mike

one litte problem is my guitar. Its on its last leg but just dont have any money right now.

i should be getting my highlight video from my india trip any day now. thats gonna be awesome.

2006-05-30T19:46:00.000-07:00

Post #13

Well this is number 13 so i thought i should make it special (as 13 is my favorite number)

To all my favorite 13's out there-
Tissy - the passer on of the one three
Kobe Jones - the original
Jason - your mask and baseball bat will forever haunt my dreams

You guys made this all possible.

Did i miss any 13s?

2006-05-29T00:23:00.000-07:00

Jess

Jess is pretty shy
Jess is pretty fly
When i see her i sigh
sometimes even cry

Jess doesnt lie
Jess doesnt fly (same word i know, different meaning. back off)
i try and try and try
Jess please make me a lucky guy

2006-05-22T23:25:00.000-07:00

Emo.

I dont know what it means. But people tell me thats what i am quite often. Sometimes as if its an insult. Well i dont get it but i sure feel it now. whatever 'it' is.

Its not like im emo on purpose people.

2006-05-17T17:47:00.000-07:00

to stop matts whining i changed the manner in which one listens to my song.

2006-05-17T17:24:00.000-07:00

Currently my favorite person in the world is Nathan.

He gave me an ipod nano.

thanks nathan. BFF. lol. wth? brb.

2006-05-15T11:50:00.000-07:00

Nathan and i started a theology book club.

Our first book is The Problem of Pain by CS Lewis.
This man is ridiculously smart. it makes my brain hurt.

The first chapter didnt do it for me so much. It was just an intro and there were alot of big words.

Chapter 2 started the ass kicking. It was about Divine Omnipotence. Here is how he starts this beautiful chapter:
"If God were good, He would wish to make His creatures perfectly happy, and if God were almighty He would be able to do what He wished. But the creatures are not happy. Therefore God lacks either goodness, or power, or both."
hmm. good point my friend. good point.

Chapter 3 :: Divine Goodness
So if the previous statement is true then why would God just not create the universe.
i donno. read the book.

of course much more was covered in these chapters. these are just a couple things i enjoyed.

2006-05-10T09:26:00.000-07:00

well due to a commenting mishap on my part, i was unaware that people were leaving love and i was not approving them.

i couldnt figure out why noone cared about what i had to say. but now i see you do. so im sorry for having doubted and now i will post more for all my fans.

PS thanks matty for your kind words to steer me back on track. your words of encouragement mean the world to me

2006-05-05T16:13:00.000-07:00

okay... so its been awhile. ive felt like my next post should be extra special and people are gonna expect my afluent words of wisdom.

but instead i'll leave it at this...

hey, whats up?

2006-02-07T03:11:00.000-08:00

Here are a couple emails i sent to my supporters letting them know whats going on.

Sent: Friday, February 03, 2006 6:51:05 PM (your time?)

Hey everyone,

lets try this again... computer shut down.

Its 750am here. Im 13.5 hours ahead. things have been great. Leave at 8 come back after 11. we are getting tired. please pray.

The city we are at is over an hours drive with 400,000. 250 villages making total 750,000. 15 churches, 5,000 christians. less than one half of a percent.

two years ago festival was shut down and people were followed all the way back to hotel. had to fly out early. there was an anti conversion law. not anymore though. last night we had about 2,500 people. overall about 1000 responses.

ride is here. must go.

pray pray pray

todd

2006-02-07T02:59:00.000-08:00

Sent: Monday, February 06, 2006 7:52:46 AM (your time)

I had my last festival with mike parker and the gang last night. it has been amazing working with him as he has some 20 years as a full time evangelist. very gifted man. they fly out tomorrow and i will miss them all much.

please pray that i will be refreshed to do this again. I am very physically and emotionally drained. today i went downtown for a stint. there were little girls begging and one was dressed as a witch doctor with a fake cobra around her neck. i will never get her face out of my mind. she was no older then my emma. i finally had some down time today and tried to get some sleep but it did not happen. i left the hotel by myself (not a bright idea) with a few clif bars to go find little girls to give them to. i got a couple miles before getting scared by a demon possessed guy so i caught a death trap back to my hotel. i cant stop crying for these children.

i promised the pastors i would learn tamil by the time i come back. then maybe i will find a tamil wife and steal some kids over here. sorry mom. i'm not sure how yet but there are hundreds of thousands of people in my "little" city and they are so poor they work 15 hours to make a dollar and go to there tin roof. the popular god for my city is the "black god". hes literally a devil with a pitch fork that they pray to for things. the children are so beautiful and innocent. the only answer is jesus. and the only way to get them to listen is showing them we care. providing education and food, etc. but there are only a handful of pastors for 244 villages surrounding arukapatai bring the population to 3/4 a million. they are trying their hardest to start house churches and orphanages, putting everything they own on the line. and all they ask in return is for us to pray.

they have to turn children away from the orphanages cause they cant afford any more. the police bring them children they find in the trash and jungle and just about anywhere you can imagine. these beautiful beautiful kids. and it only costs 10 US dollars a month per child. but to them that is alot of money. the children are covered in flies with no shoes and no underwear. but the have a roof and food and jesus and school. many have become pastors.

The fields are ripe here. thousands each day are finding christ. but the workers are few, and poor. the pastors want to build churches in villages but cant. they have no money.

thats all i have to say for now. people need the computer. and im tired. i'm gonna figure out what you can do to help and then ill let you know. I suppose the prayer warriors here would say pray for them. thats what they say about everything. the lord will provide.

i have so many stories of people ive met but thats for another time perhaps.

pray pray pray

todd

2005-12-30T14:31:00.000-08:00

Well Winter Youth is over... It was pretty amazing. Joel said just the audience alone got up to 110db. That is really loud.

I have to admit I already miss it alot. I havent been on a retreat type thing since high school. They sure feel good. I've never been treated like that either. Everyone was so nice to me.

There were some cool people i met there yet i come away with nothing but memories... I wish i would have gotten emails or something. There were so many people there though that it was hard to talk to the same person twice. Who knows, maybe some of them will make it to this site and email or IM me...?

Well back to reality.

2005-12-23T13:07:00.000-08:00

Theres been an issue hanging over my head for a while now. I havent been getting much sleep due to it and it just been wearing me out. Well i think tonight is the night that something will be done to help it. I'm nervous and scared. A little nauseous. But almost relieved. Its not a burden, just a lot to deal with. But i think God made me for things like this. I could sure use some prayer tonight.

I'm sick of secrets and having to lie to people to cover up what i've doing. But i dont really see another way. Is lying okay if youre protecting someone? many people have gotten pissed at me and if i could just explain it they would think im good instead of an ass. But for now i have to stick with ass. I guess i'm not really here for peoples approval though.

i feel a little better. maybe this blog thing isnt so lame...

2005-12-21T13:35:00.000-08:00

So Paublo asked me to start a blog. Here goes nothing. i hope you all can follow my ramblings and lack of punctuation and grammatical incorrectness. oh boy, theres a spell check function.

6 days to Winter Youth Conference. I feel unprepared. But when do i ever feel prepared for anything. We've only practiced twice with chris, our not normal bass player.

Agh. So much to do. So many people depending on me for things. Or so i feel. No matter what im doing India is in the back of my mind saying "focus on me, learn songs, get visa, get money, la di da di da". When i get excited i over think and over plan.

Those are my thoughts for now.