Well Winter Youth is over... It was pretty amazing. Joel said just the audience alone got up to 110db. That is really loud.

I have to admit I already miss it alot. I havent been on a retreat type thing since high school. They sure feel good. I've never been treated like that either. Everyone was so nice to me.

There were some cool people i met there yet i come away with nothing but memories... I wish i would have gotten emails or something. There were so many people there though that it was hard to talk to the same person twice. Who knows, maybe some of them will make it to this site and email or IM me...?

Well back to reality.

Theres been an issue hanging over my head for a while now. I havent been getting much sleep due to it and it just been wearing me out. Well i think tonight is the night that something will be done to help it. I'm nervous and scared. A little nauseous. But almost relieved. Its not a burden, just a lot to deal with. But i think God made me for things like this. I could sure use some prayer tonight.

I'm sick of secrets and having to lie to people to cover up what i've doing. But i dont really see another way. Is lying okay if youre protecting someone? many people have gotten pissed at me and if i could just explain it they would think im good instead of an ass. But for now i have to stick with ass. I guess i'm not really here for peoples approval though.

i feel a little better. maybe this blog thing isnt so lame...

So Paublo asked me to start a blog. Here goes nothing. i hope you all can follow my ramblings and lack of punctuation and grammatical incorrectness. oh boy, theres a spell check function.

6 days to Winter Youth Conference. I feel unprepared. But when do i ever feel prepared for anything. We've only practiced twice with chris, our not normal bass player.

Agh. So much to do. So many people depending on me for things. Or so i feel. No matter what im doing India is in the back of my mind saying "focus on me, learn songs, get visa, get money, la di da di da". When i get excited i over think and over plan.

Those are my thoughts for now.